Since I had to delete my Myspace profile on account of crazy stalkers, my life has been at risk of reduced fulfilment due to decreased accessibility to Andrew's famous Myspace Surveys. Luckily, I have my coworker's love life and our daily repititive conversations about it to amuse me.
Making fun of the men in her life (both the ones she likes -- to get back at them for being douchebags-- and the ones she doesn't like -- because they are stupid) might just deserve a "Things I Am Thankful For" blog posting someday.
For your viewing pleasure and perhaps education (if you are a very dense male), are portions of a pathetic love note from a guy whom she is not interested in, but who is interested in her despite the face he knows she's is interested in someone else.
"So at first i didn't really understand why you were so short with me and disconnect after i asked you out. I assumed it had something to do with that guy"
Plausible translation: I know you rejected me and like someone else but............
"...that night at the bar i know we were both drunk, but it seemed like we hit it off and I left really excited for a date and to spend more time with you"
Plausible translation: I am still desperately clinging to my alcohol induced poor-judgment assessment that you would ACTUALLY be mildly interested in me anyways, even if you were probably just being a tipsy flirt and I clearly get excited about any cute, sort of drunk girl at a bar who does as much as glance my direction..."
"I understand if things between you and that guy are complicated, i know you really liked him."
Plausible translation: Not even necessary...dude clearly demonstrates that he KNOWS she is into someone else
"I guess all i wanted to say is I think your awesome and if you ever did want to come over for dinner and drinks i would still love that."
Plausible translation: I guess I just wanted to make it abundantly clear that I know you don't like me but I am still throwing myself at you...in case you had any doubt whatsoever.
HAHA. I love you guys. To be continued with Part Two sometime in the future: highlights from our makings fun of guys she actually likes (who are still equally retarded, don't worry.)
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