Lady GaGa's "New" CD

Time for my completely meritless opinion on pop music!

Why did I just pay $13.99 for 8 new GaGa tracks?

Two reasons:

One: I am obsessed with the GaGa and two: I'm stupid.

Apparently her new CD was originally intended to be a re-release of The Fame. Instead, Fame Monster contains all the tracks from The Fame with 8 new tracks. DUH - I already own everything from The Fame! I had to buy the whole CD from iTunes before fully realizing what was going on here because I couldn't get that (damn catchy) new tune, Bad Romance out of my brain.

This was sort of a shithead move from whoever is responsible for this. PLUS - and maybe I speak too soon and the songs will grow on me - I only like 3 of the 8 new songs - and 2 of the 3 I like are juuuust barely. What is up with the slow songs? And she definitely does not make her voice as pretty/girly as songs from The Fame (she must love the rumors about her). Not to detract from the fact Bad Romance is a great song and I still love her...I just...expected more.

Brittany Recommends: MTV's Jersey Shore

Bravo's Million Dollar Listing is not my only recent "reality" show guilty pleasure. Oh no. MTV debuted the first two-hour episode of "Jersey Shore" last Thursday. GUIDO-GASM.

I think it is pretty well established that, at least us West Coasters are fascinated with and love Guidos. I'm not talking cool, GoodFellas-type Italian gangsters, I am talking My New Haircut caliber Jersey, fake tanned, over groomed, Affliction shirt wearing Guidos. "Jersey Shore"(Thursday nights, MTV) exploits this weakness and delivers everything we expect from a stereotypical Guido: guys who regularly refer to women as "bitches" and "skanks", douchey hot tub antics, night clubs, way too many exposed chests and girls with nicknames like "Snookie" and "J Wow" who "on a mission to find the hottest, muscley Jersey Guido and take him home".

This group of Guidos and Guidettes (they call themselves that) are a group of strangers living together at a Jersey Shore beach house for the summer. Much like "The Real World" the Guidos/Guidettes are "there to party" but have to work in a t-shirt shop on the pier while living in the house.

Memorable quotes from the first episode include:

"Lose about five or ten pounds and then we'll talk!" -Mike "The Situation" after Angelina refers to herself as "hot" (PS - Mike got his nickname because, he says, his abs are so "ripped up, we call it The Situation")

"Just take your shirt off and let them come to you. Like a fly comes to shit." - Ronnie

"This job is beneath me. I am a bartender, I do, you know, great things." - Angelina

"I’m very anxious to get down there with my hot clothes, and my tan. Just arrive. 'Cause once I arrive it's like, what's up, I'm here." - Mike The Situation"

"My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a juiced, hot, tan guy and live my life." - Nicole "Snookie"

"I got a f---ing tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about being a Guido and living up to that lifestyle." - Pauly D

"I left the club early because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend. And I felt like eating ham and drinking water." - Jennifer "JWow"

I think these quotes sell the show on their own, but if anything else, catch the second episode tonight at 10 so we have something to talk about this weekend. Cheers!

Brittany Recommends: Million Dollar Listing

"You Cheapen This Day!" is Chad Rogers' (left) self-assigned catchphrase. Apparently cheapen is actually a word (it just does not sound right to me...) but that does not change the fact Chad's catchphrase, much like the rest of the reality TV show he is featured on, inexplicably amuse me to no end.

Chad is one of three spoiled, successful Los Angeles real estate agents featured on Bravo TV's "Million Dollar Listing", affectionately referred to by me as "Million Dollar Douchebags".

I discovered this show several months ago and just caught the finale of what is apparently the third season on Monday. Let me tell you how many hours of mindless entertainment this show (even watching episodes twice) as brought me...okay, let's not. Rather embarrassing.

Yes, that is a tiny dog in Chad's arm. Though Chad's sexuality, like the other two young male real estate agents on the show, seems ambiguous at best, Chad is an allegedly straight man with an attractive girlfriend. Starla (doggy) comes with him to showings and real estate events and he proclaims helps him "seal the deal" in obtaining and selling listings. Chad boasts a six hundred dollar scenester haircut and made his attractive girlfriend sign a 50% split custody agreement for Starla, if they break up they share equal "visitation". If Starla's custody arrangement and Chad's genius catchphrase haven't reeled you in yet - don't worry-there are two more slightly less, but still very amusing boys to follow.

Madison, probably the most sane, definitely the most gorgeous and now an "out" gay man (of course..) is the Malibu guy. Right, center. Josh (right, far right) is the 90210 guy who says he "lives, works and plays in Beverly Hills". Obviously born into money, Josh drives his Porsche around the 90210, acts unnaturally aware of the camera following him around and is a (hilarious) sad excuse for a self-proclaimed flirt.

Many bubble-bursters have cautioned me against growing too attached to the reality portion of reality TV. In this case, it is pretty obvious at least some of the interactions in the show are staged, but that only adds to the beauty. People this douchey really don't exist in real life anyway...I hope!

Either way, I would definitely implore you to not "cheapen this day", and give the Million Dollar Douchebags a shot.