Let me preface this post by saying, though I may enjoy massive amounts of vegetarian lettuce wraps on occasion, P.F. Changs is one of the few things I am not obsessed with.
The following passage is something two people I know well, who will remain anonymous, wrote. Perhaps with the help of some "herbal supplements" but that is just an educated guess :) It amuses me. A lot.
Enjoy!
P.F. Changs: Epic Noms (Terre d'Amour)
From the moment I entered through the revolving door which, if only for an instant, drew the room's eyes to me, I began to feel the warmth of the spotlight shone upon me from the rafters and I truly felt, inside, like the emperor that I have always felt like deep inside. As I strode up to the marble podium, my hand brushed it's polished stone and I felt the royalty of dynasties past seeping into my vulnerable mortal pores. The hostess, like a fallen angel freshly descended from the heavens, offered her precious voice to query my desires, and with the gift of time led me to my fortress among the murals of my elders. I sat for a short time and was approached shortly by my assigned servant, clad in black linens and an eager sparkle in her eye. She handed me a scroll with names of meals fit for their guest of honor. I commanded she bring me back with a gluten-free menu to tend to my celiac-prone bowels and she swiftly trotted to the rear of the restaurant to meet my needs. Finally, I settled on the Mongolian Beef, several tender cuts of succulent cow smothered in a savory and sweet dark sauce and doused with green bits of onion that is green and the Chang's Spicy Chicken, which is in a spicy yet surprisingly sweet and tangy sauce -- WHAT A FANTASTIC COMBINATION! Who would've thought that two such opposite ingredients could come together in such astonishing epicurean sublimity. I mean WOW. HOW DELICIOUS. The finale to my grand royal buffet was the flourless chocolate dome, a palace built just for my innards. As I was handed my royal thanks in the form of a receipt, I was stunned and astonished at the low fee they demanded of me for my night of royal feasting. I rose from my throne with a new-found respect for this temple of fine dining located in the Centerra village. It was really superb.
I mean, really. How fucking cute and hilarious is that? I am pretty confident this is not just another Britt-being-easily-amused situation. To my surprise and delight (and hopefully to yours as well), I apparently am not alone in taking pleasure in this --to some, allegedly indignant-- fascination. Take a gander at this collection of my favorite photos:
