Calling all women who have moped over the wrong guy.
Yes, the guy all your friends hated and told you was not good enough, the one your mother would have lynched you for even considering, the one that made all of your guy friends die a little inside each time you mentioned.
Come on. All of us have our chubby wannabe Hollywood boy karaoke superstar who got the best of us despite the best advice availalbe - but let this be a lesson. Put up with enough bullshit long enough and good karma will ensue! One day maybe even you can date a future doctor and slam MiniMeatloaf on Craigslist Rants and Raves!
Dear Aspiring Director,
I met you at a karaoke joint and you wooed me with your angelic rendition of Meatloaf. After that, you continued rejecting me for a year despite the fact that you are short, chubby, and look like you are twelve years old, and work as a lowly assistant in Hollywood. My friends told me I was crazy for liking you, but I looked past all that. Maybe it was just the way you sang "I Would Do Anything For Love," maybe it was your quirky sense of humor, maybe I was just desperate at the time we met. But I did like you. A lot.
For a year you rejected me, and for a year I questioned my hotness, personality, and self worth. But now I would like to thank you. Thank you for consistently rejecting me for a whole year. If it wasn't for you making me feel terrible about myself and self worth, I never would have decided to get over you. Once I did get over you, thank you for attempting to get back together with me, taking me out to dinner, turning a new leaf and finally deciding that I was a catch you didn't want to lose.That really boosted my self confidence and sent me running into another boy's arms.
Sincerely,
The One That Got Away
P.S. Did I tell you the new boy is in medical school and going to be a doctor?
P.S.2 Also, he's neither short nor fat
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